was Jeremiah bipolar?
I’ve really enjoyed reading through Jeremiah 20. I am noticing for the first time how Jeremiah’s emotions flash from bitterness with God (v7-8), to compulsion (v9), to paranoia (v10), to reassurance (v11-12), to elation with God (v13), to despair (v14-18).
It is amazing how direct Jeremiah is in his bitterness with God, especially in verses 7-8:
7 O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived;
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me.
8 Whenever I speak, I cry out
proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the LORD has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
I think one of the big takeaways here is that we are allowed to get angry with God. He can take it. I have found that following this up with an acknowledgment that God always is with me helps, even if it feels like I’m just mouthing the words, which is what Jeremiah does later in verses 11-12. I have never read a description of compulsion that is better than verse 9:
9 But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
I just wish my compulsions were better focused. That’s definitely something to pray about. Next comes paranoia in verse 10:
10 I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!
Report him! Let’s report him!”
All my friends
are waiting for me to slip, saying,
“Perhaps he will be deceived;
then we will prevail over him
and take our revenge on him.”
In response to this new feeling, Jeremiah, resorts to what may be a mechanical chant of reassurance in verses 11-12:
11 But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior;
so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail.
They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced;
their dishonor will never be forgotten.
12 O LORD Almighty, you who examine the righteous
and probe the heart and mind,
let me see your vengeance upon them,
for to you I have committed my cause.
As I have often found myself, the relief that comes through prayer is like a hypomanic episode. Jeremiah’s elation comes out in verse 13:
13 Sing to the LORD!
Give praise to the LORD!
He rescues the life of the needy
from the hands of the wicked.
Then right after that, Jeremiah comes crashing down with a crushing despair that is amazing in its depth:
14 Cursed be the day I was born!
May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!
15 Cursed be the man who brought my father the news,
who made him very glad, saying,
“A child is born to you—a son!”
16 May that man be like the towns
the LORD overthrew without pity.
May he hear wailing in the morning,
a battle cry at noon.
17 For he did not kill me in the womb,
with my mother as my grave,
her womb enlarged forever.
18 Why did I ever come out of the womb
to see trouble and sorrow
and to end my days in shame?